Thieving Hippo
Hippo’s Writing Challenge Winner!

Yesterday marked the last day of the writing challenge and a new winner!

kindervenom had a unique goal for the challenge, to write 350 words or draw every single day. And she made it! Every single day. By my count, she wrote over 9500 words!


I’m trying not to panic at how much I need to accomplish before I head to Las Vegas for a few days on Thursday. Why is it so easy to make videos of vorcha but so hard to do some quality adulting? 

Welcome to Hippo’s Blog!

Wow you guys like volus and vorcha. There have been a lot of new faces over the last three days, so have an intro post!

I’m Hippo. Hi! 

This blog is a bit of a hodgepodge of BioWare games, mainly Mass Effect, Dragon Age and swtor. I write lots of fic, post sound clips from Mass Effect and now apparently rant about how awesome all the non-council species in ME are. 

My ask box is always open and you can also reach me at Feel free to drop me a line anytime!

Here are some tags of note:

hippo writes fanfiction - All fanfic, whatever the fandom, gets posted under this tag

mass effect sound - I’ve extracted sound clips from all three Mass Effect games and post clips occasionally. (I do take requests, but I’m really slow with them because I’m a goober)

dragon age: inquisition spoilers - I’m not above some spoilers and like to discuss them. Here’s the tag I use if I do. 

Other than that, anything goes! I like to talk about my OCs, cry over headcanon and strive to make my tumblr a happy and welcoming place. 

Unless you talk smack about the volus. Then it’s on.

Real time footage of the Reaper’s invasion of the vorcha homeworld of Hestok. 

Read my passionate defense of the vorcha HERE

Anonymous said: Your mother is a vorcha and your father smelt of vorchaberries.


You want to talk smack about the vorcha, you best be prepared to back that shit up!

Fact or fiction? No one in the galaxy knows how the fuck the vorcha got off their planet. FACT. They don’t have space flight. They barely know how to read or write. Here’s what basically happened. A couple of vorcha stowed away on a traveler’s ship and then they spread all over the galaxy.

They are the fucking tribbles of the Mass Effect universe. Violent, primitive tribbles who don’t take shit from anyone.

And when I say anyone, I mean it. The damn Reapers came to their homeworld of Hestok and the vorcha barely blinked. The Reapers were reduced to basically running around the vorcha homeworld with the Benny Hill chase music blaring in the background. Why, you ask? Because the vorcha aren’t intimidated as a group. Unless a Reaper threatens them personally, they don’t give a shit. And for good reason.

They have the most unique biology in the entire galaxy. They’re made of non-differentiated cells, giving them regen abilities. You know that really annoying feeling when you shoot a vorcha in-game and they start regening right away? That’s how they roll.

Because of this, they can adapt to any environment or injury. Get burned? They grow thicker skin. Take away their water? Their bodies adapt to get moisture from the atmosphere. Lose a limb? They grow one back.

These fuckers are the living embodiment of the YOLO lifestyle. Did you know the vorcha only live until they’re about twenty years old? They have no government, they have no natural resources on their planet. All they do is fuck and fight.

But occasionally, other species will try to educate the vorcha to use them as skilled laborers. Not many want to take on the expense, though, when a vorcha’s lifespan is so short. But when they do, they can have amazing results.

Like the groups that helped in the Reaper War. That’s right. The vorcha helped. Even having no organized government and no space flight, the vorcha held their own in the war.

Let me tell you about the Void Devils Fight Wing. These badass pilots were co-trained by humans and turians. Once they’re given their target, they don’t stop until every fucker is dead. They’ve become legendary for their courage. Think about that. Races like the turians and krogan think these pilots are courageous.

Next there’s the vorcha labor team. Without them, the Crucible doesn’t get built. End of story. Goodbye galaxy, better luck next cycle. See, the Crucible was built on a planet that had no magnetosphere, which meant it was bathed in a shit ton of radiation. Good for keeping away the enemies, bad when you actually need to do work on the hull. But the Crucible had the vorcha, who had been trained for precision work. And because of their unique biology, they could work on the hull and heal themselves of the radiation poisoning as they did.

IN CONCLUSION: Don’t mess with the vorcha. What doesn’t kill them makes them stronger. Literally. 

Next up: the hanar

Hippo’s Writing Challenge Winner!

Today, it’s Miss Bee, theherocomplex!

The gal who organizes your Wednesday night sprints has reached her goal of 30,000 words for the month. Did you know during the last four days, she wrote more than 11,000 words, all probably guaranteed to break our hearts. Bee is a writing machine!

Congratulations on making your goal! :)

Anonymous said: Do you ever think you'll write Anders/Hawke smut? *bats eyelashes* Pretty please?

That is an interesting question, anon. I actually thought about this not too long ago, when I realized I really had no interest in writing Anders/Hawke smut. I think the reason is because writing straight smut (oh my god I almost wrote ‘a lemon’… I’ve been in fandom too long.) between a human male and human female kinda bores me.

My favorite pairings in BioWare games haven’t been human male/human female. Yes, they’ve all been male/female, but there’s been a twist. Garrus is an alien. Anelle is a dwarf. I really like exploring the differences between them and their partner and figuring out how things work. 

That being said, I could easily see myself writing Anders/Hawke/Justice. I hinted in A Voice of Bells and Thunder that the relationship between Hawke and Justice has evolved into one where sex might come into play. You involve Justice into their sex lives? Oh, then you have so many possibilities, with hurt feelings and consent issues. That is something I would be curious to write about.

But just Anders/Hawke? Probably won’t ever happen. I’m sorry if that’s not the answer you wanted to hear, anon!

Challenge accepted!

You guys are the best. I now have requests to write posts on every single non-Council species. It will be done. Just not in one night. I’ll spread them out so I don’t drive you all crazy. 





I think out of all the races in Mass Effect the Volus are my least favorite. I think there’s only one or two in the whole trilogy that isn’t whiny and cowardice. Does anyone actually like the Volus?


Someone talking shit about the volus?

Just by seeing a volus in person, you are seeing the opposite of a coward. You are seeing a bad ass motherfucker who risks their life to do business on the Citadel or Illium, etc. A quarian gets a suit puncture? That’s bad. But give them some anti-biotics and they’ll be okay in the end.

A volus gets a suit puncture? They die. End of story.

What a lot of people don’t understand is that volus aren’t a carbon based life form like every other species in the Mass Effect universe. These folk are ammonia based. They are completely unique. They can’t eat levo food, they can’t eat dextro food. Do you hear them complaining? Nope.

Can you tell me who was the third species to discover the Citadel after the asarai and the salarians? That would be the volus, my friend. They discovered the Citadel before the turians, the humans, the elcor, the batarians, etc, etc.

You know what the volus did when they got there? They said, ‘screw your banking system, we’re gonna design a better one.’ And they did! They authored the Unified Banking Act, basically standardizing the galaxies currency without sacrificing each world’s autonomy. You want to pay in Mexican pesos? Or some obscure vorcha currency? Thanks to the volus, you can.

These fuckers are smart. When the krogan rebellion came along, they knew they had absolutely no chance fighting them. So what did they do? They said, ‘Yo turians! Protect us and we’ll handle your economy.’ And an agreement was reached. Some people might think that’s weak? Me? I see a charging krogan and am able to get someone to stand in front of me, that’s savvy, not fear.

Fun volus fact. Did you know that the volus don’t use family names? They have no concept of a name like ‘Shepard’ or ‘Alenko’ because they believe that you can’t own a person. They believe so strongly in personal freedom that giving a surname to your child is like staking a claim on them.  

Some think the volus didn’t contribute enough to the Reaper War. Fuck that! They donated all the materials and ships that they had. Not to mention things that don’t seem important, like fabrication units. Guess who made all the custom plastic pieces needed for the Crucible? That would be the volus. Guess who reversed engineered all sort of tech to help with the Crucible. Again, the volus.

Are they bitter about their place on the Citadel? Fuck yeah they are, with good reason. This bad ass culture has been around since almost the beginning. They’ve stabilized the entire galaxy’s economy. Have you ever heard of there being a recession or a depression on the Citadel? You haven’t. Cause the volus are on top of that shit.

So even though they’ve been around for more than two thousand years, they still don’t have a place on the Council. They don’t even have their own embassy. And here come the humans, who haven’t contributed nearly as much, and they get their own private office!  But don’t worry. Now that the Reaper War is over, things are in flux and the volus will be there to make sure the economy doesn’t tank.

IN CONCLUSION: The volus are awesome and deserve your respect. 

sleepyscifisex replied to your photo “We’ll get through this. We always do.

I like the renegade cam angle on this scene more

I’ve not done the renegade choice for this scene before (cause I like the ‘mood swings’ line far too much). So obviously I had to run out and see what’s done differently.

The scene is much shorter, but you get this lovely exchange between the pair. Look at how obvious Garrus is in that first screenshot. “She has a waist and my hand is not on it. I should correct that.” I also love how Shepard puts her arm around him as well at the end. 

Same scene, different endings. I do like both, but the mood swings line always will clinch it for me.